No One Can See Your Tears Underwater

A Journey of Self-Discovery Through Diving

Rocío Ruiz

12/5/20257 min read

a scuba diver in the water with a lot of fish
a scuba diver in the water with a lot of fish

Embracing the Unknown: The Call to Adventure

Stepping outside of one’s comfort zone often stirs a complex mix of emotions—anticipation intertwined with apprehension. My decision to embark on a diving adventure was no different. As I contemplated descending into the depths of the ocean, where sunlight fades and the vast unknown awaits, I found myself grappling with both excitement and fear. The allure of exploring a world hidden beneath the waves drew me in, yet the uncertainty of what lay ahead prompted a profound introspection.

Trusting oneself is a pivotal aspect of embracing new challenges. In diving, this often means surrendering to the unknown, whether that be the darkness of the water or the unfamiliarity of the environment. As I prepared to plunge into the pitch-black waters, I recognized that the journey mirrored life itself; it is filled with unexpected turns and hidden treasures. Indeed, both the ocean and our personal journeys require a delicate balance of trust—trust in our abilities, trust in the equipment guiding us, and trust in the process of exploration.

As I stood at the edge of the diving boat, heart racing and lungs full of air, I felt the weight of the unknown pressing against me. This sensation of fear was not merely anxiety; rather, it was a calling—a beckoning to embrace the journey ahead, to withstand discomfort for the sake of growth. By welcoming that fear, I was not only preparing myself for the underwater adventure but also carving a pathway toward self-discovery. Each step into the water felt like a step into a new chapter of my life, reinforcing the idea that within the unknown lies an opportunity for transformation.

The Journey Begins: Traveling to the Perhentian Islands

The journey to the Perhentian Islands in Malaysia starts with a flight to Kuala Lumpur, a vibrant city that serves as a gateway to this tropical paradise. The palpable excitement of the trip lingers as I pack a modest 15kg backpack, filled with essentials for both land and sea adventures. Each item is carefully chosen, reflecting the need for functionality over excess, embodying the spirit of travel. As the flight takes off, I can almost feel the anticipation of exploring new horizons and diving into the stunning underwater worlds that lay ahead.

Upon landing in Kuala Lumpur, the bustling atmosphere of the airport greets me. The mix of languages, aromas, and the vibrant energy signal that I am one step closer to my destination. After a brief layover, I embark on a domestic flight to the small coastal town of Kuala Besut, which serves as the launching point for the Perhentian Islands. The sights from the window reveal Malaysia’s lush landscapes, dotted with picturesque rivers and dense jungles, intensifying my eagerness to escape the chaotic city life.

Upon arriving in Kuala Besut, a swift boat ride transports me across the crystal-clear waters to the Perhentian Islands. The sensation of salt in the air and the gentle sway of the boat heightens my senses, awakening an appreciation for the natural beauty that surrounds me. As we approach the islands, the sight of white sandy beaches and swaying palm trees comes into view, signaling a stark contrast to my everyday environment. This serene backdrop, devoid of modern distractions, sets the perfect stage for the adventures that await me. The sensation of sand beneath my feet and the welcoming warmth of the sun mark the beginning of a transformative journey, both above and below the surface of the water.

The Island Life: A Sanctuary of Peace

The Perhentian Islands offer a unique lifestyle that fosters tranquility and introspection, making it an ideal haven for those seeking peace and self-discovery. Upon arrival, one is immediately struck by the absence of cars and the overwhelming noise of urban life. The islands are largely untouched by modernity, creating an environment where time seems to stand still, allowing visitors to disconnect from the fast-paced world. Walking along the sandy beaches and through lush greenery, the sounds of nature take precedence over the clamor of engines and machinery.

The natural beauty of the Perhentian Islands is breathtaking, with crystal-clear waters and vibrant marine life forming a visually stunning backdrop that encourages immersion in the present moment. The serene atmosphere not only promotes relaxation but also enhances mental readiness for diving adventures. With each passing day spent on the islands, individuals can engage in quiet reflection and connect deeply with their surroundings. This connection with nature acts as a precursor to diving, where being at one with the ocean becomes vital.

The simplicity of island life promotes a gradual shedding of worldly concerns, allowing for moments of introspection that are often lost in daily routines. As one prepares for diving training, the calmness of the landscape allows for personal growth and rejuvenation. The rhythmic sounds of waves lapping at the shore and the gentle rustling of palm leaves provide a soothing soundtrack, fostering an atmosphere of meditation and self-discovery.

In this tranquil setting, individuals can find clarity of thoughts and emotions, liberating themselves from the burdens they may carry. The Perhentian Islands stand as a sanctuary where the beauty of nature intertwines with the human experience, preparing one to embrace the challenges and joys that lie beneath the surface of the water.

Diving Course: No Research, Just Passion

Embarking on my journey into the realm of diving, I found myself fueled primarily by a deep-seated passion for marine life. For years, I had been captivated by documentaries showcasing the majestic movements of sharks and whales, their beauty sparking an innate desire within me to experience the underwater world firsthand. Contrary to conventional preparation practices, I entered the diving course without conducting thorough research. I refrained from scrutinizing detailed guides or engaging in online forums, instead choosing to let my heart lead the way. This decision was largely driven by my belief that intrinsic motivation holds more power than extensive knowledge when it comes to pursuing a new skill.

The diving course was intricately designed to introduce beginners to the basics of underwater exploration while highlighting the significance of safety protocols. Over the weeks, I was exposed to the essential techniques that would allow me to unlock the treasures hidden beneath the ocean’s surface. The instructors emphasized the harmony between divers and their surroundings, demonstrating that respecting marine life is a crucial aspect of diving. Each session not only focused on technical skills—such as buoyancy control, underwater navigation, and equipment usage—but also fostered a sense of environmental stewardship. This approach made clear that being a diver encompasses much more than merely descending into the depths; it requires a profound regard for the ecosystems we are privileged to explore.

As I immersed myself in this vibrant community, my lack of prior preparation became less of a hindrance and more of an intriguing aspect of my learning journey. I found solace in knowing that my passion for marine life was enough to motivate me through challenges. My future aspirations included observing these magnificent creatures up close, growing alongside fellow divers, fostering a connection that transcends mere skill acquisition. This pursuit, driven by passion rather than exhaustive research, ultimately set the foundation for my journey of self-discovery through diving.

Facing Fears: The First Dive

As I stood at the edge of the boat, the rhythmic crashing of waves against its hull was a stark reminder of the vast ocean that awaited me. This was not only an excursion into the depths of the sea; it was a confrontation with my own trepidations. My heart raced, and a surge of apprehension washed over me. The anticipation of my first dive felt comparable to standing on a precipice, peering into the unknown. I could feel the weight of my fears pressing against my chest, suffusing my thoughts with doubt and anxiety.

The descent into the water was an initiation of sorts, where every kick of my fins seemed a testament to both courage and vulnerability. As I submerged beneath the surface, the overwhelming sensation of buoyancy contrasted sharply with my initial apprehension. The water enveloped me like a cocoon, muffling the noise and isolating me from the world above. It was in this serene underwater realm that I found both solace and self-reflection. I could not see my tears, yet the emotional turbulence within me mirrored the rhythm of the water around me.

Underwater Wonders: Connection with Marine Life

Immersing oneself in the depths of the ocean offers a unique perspective on life that is difficult to replicate on land. Each dive unveils a vibrant tapestry of marine life, where colors, shapes, and movements work in harmony to create an ecosystem that is both intricate and captivating. The graceful glide of a shark or the majestic presence of a whale can evoke a profound sense of connection with these remarkable creatures. These encounters foster an appreciation for the delicate balance of life beneath the waves, encouraging divers to reflect on their own existence within the broader context of nature.

During my diving experiences, I have had the privilege of swimming alongside diverse species that inhabit the deep blue. Observing the elegance of a shark as it glides effortlessly through the water fills me with both awe and tranquility. These moments of connection serve to remind us of the raw beauty and untamed spirit of the ocean. Similarly, the sight of a whale breaching the surface, with its sheer size and power, leaves an indelible mark on the soul. Such encounters not only ignite a sense of adventure but also invite introspection, prompting us to consider our place within the environment.

The underwater world acts as a mirror, reflecting our innermost feelings and thoughts. Beneath the surface, the weight of the world seems to dissolve, allowing a space for healing and contemplation. Each dive presents an opportunity to confront emotions that may have been submerged. The playfulness of fish darting through coral reefs or the serene glide of a sea turtle can bring a sense of peace that supports personal growth. Engaging with marine life encourages us to process emotions in a space devoid of distractions, ultimately enriching our journey of self-discovery.

Reflections and Realizations: Tears Beneath the Surface

Diving transcends the mere act of submersion; it is a profound journey into the depths of self-discovery. As one descends into the tranquil blue, an introspective space unfolds, a sanctuary where the noise of everyday life fades away. In this stillness, the emotional weight that often resides beneath the surface begins to resurface. Each dive invites an opportunity for reflection, revealing insights that may have lain dormant. While submerged, one can confront their vulnerabilities, perhaps finally allowing those tears—initially hidden from the world—to flow freely.

These emotional breakthroughs, facilitated by the immersive experience of diving, are transformative. The buoyancy of water reminds us of our inherent resilience. Within the depths of the ocean's embrace, we confront not just the external challenges but delve into the intricacies of our emotions. The metaphor of tears becoming invisible underwater echoes a deeper truth: beneath our composed facades often lies a tempest of feelings longing for expression. Ironically, the ocean—the very beast we explore—becomes a cradle for our raw emotions, safeguarding them while simultaneously encouraging us to embrace them.

Furthermore, my experiences while diving highlight the therapeutic value of nature. The awe-inspiring marine environments provide a backdrop for personal clarity and healing. Encounters with vibrant coral reefs and diverse marine life create a sense of connection to something greater than oneself, fostering a holistic appreciation for life. Each descent serves as a gentle reminder to embrace both joy and sorrow, ultimately cultivating a deeper understanding of oneself.

By leaning into the vulnerable moments experienced beneath the waves, one can achieve clarity. It is within the depths of the ocean that emotions are not merely submerged but can transform into powerful catalysts for personal growth and self-acceptance.